I have thought a while about sharing this particular part of my journey, but I decided I wanted to share it for anyone else who has fallen but is getting back up to try again.
Sometimes I feel like I have not really fallen off the THM wagon, but rather I was drug along the side of it, bumping and scraping all the way. I am always on THM, I may have a few bad days or some off plan meals, but I am never fully “off plan”. I don’t think I could ever go back to my previous way of eating, it’s made that much of a difference in my life. You can read my original story HERE.
For those of you who have followed along on my blog, you may have noticed we have had a very hard year in our home. In the spring of this year my husband was diagnosed with MRSA in the bursa sack of his elbow. It was a very, very (stress VERY) hard time. He had to go on a series of antibiotics administered multiple times a day through a line installed in his arm. We are eternally thankful and give glory to God that he is 1. HEALED and 2. he only missed a total of one and a half weeks of work through that horrible ordeal . (We don’t have sick time, so any time off is just lost money and I am a full time mom, so it makes an impact.) God was there. My husband ended up having a severe reaction to his antibiotics and was hospitalized for a day. While I share our hardships let me just say, I was gifted essential oils through a dear friends mother to help my husband through this time. We had friends praying for us as well. I am so very thankful for praying family and friends. To sum this story up, my husband has now recently had a follow up MRI to check if he needed surgery and he does NOT! So, we are finally finished (as of about a month ago) with that whole situation. Here is a post I did about what I make for my husbands lunches. In that photo he had just recently been diagnosed. That day I was smiling, but inside I was scared.
Shortly after my husbands ordeal my mom got very sick and entered the hospital with a diabetic wound that nearly ended up taking her life because of complications. Her story is found HERE and HERE. I then spent the remainder of this summer managing her care. Spending days at the hospital, then organizing in home caretakers, meals, grocery shopping, doctors appointments etc etc etc. I did this in addition to taking care of my own family and home. I am again, so thankful and praise God for saving her life, for healing her and preserving her foot and leg and giving her the ability to live again. She is continuing to improve every day.
I share all of this not to whine, but to get to the point, trying again. Let me share this little tidbit of information so you can see the full scope, one day my daughter and I headed out to finally get a grocery shop trip in, I had been managing our family meals day by day, moment by moment, it was all I could do. When we finally made it out to this particular planned shopping trip, my daughter looks at me and asked me, do you remember the last time we did this? She caught me by surprise, why was that even in her mind…so I told her no, I really couldn’t remember. She told me it had been 3 months. Three months since I had meal planned and my family had sat down to a regular meal all together. Three months since I had my kitchen and pantry stocked like it usually is. It may sound silly, but it was quite a shock for me to realize that this one basic thing, had been so neglected for so long.
While I was busy caring for others for so many months this year, I had not been caring for myself. I would do the best I could to stick to plan, but I would have many days of way too many hours between meals or snacks, or too many crossovers or just sometimes I had to eat what I could get my hands on. I would have spurts of really good days and boy could I tell a difference in how I was handling things when I was eating well, but I just didn’t have time to plan or bake or cook.
Sadly, although I have not weighed, I am pretty sure I have gained back my weight from where I started on THM. I don’t want to weigh yet, it just feels like another burden I cannot bear at this time. Instead, I am focusing on regaining my momentum. I am meal planning, I am baking and cooking and prepping again.
I am trying hard to not look at this as a failure, although sometimes it’s hard not to. I run a blog and motivational groups as well as a THM store. Yet, I couldn’t hold it all together. I gained weight…I struggle with feeling like I am not the best representation of THM.
What I will say is this, I did NOT return to my old usual coping mechanisms for the most part. I would have looked for junk food during such a stressful season before THM. I now find I would rather have a cake in a mug than a store bought cookie. Skinny chocolate really does sooth a frazzled, teary heart, not just the tummy. I would also say, I have the best tool ever, THM to return to full force and I KNOW it works and I will lose this weight again and I will reflect on this season and hopefully be better prepared when a rough season is thrust upon me again. (Let’s all hope and pray that is not for a VERY long time, ok?) So, I am trying again. I will be on THM for life, I already know that, I just hope I will spend that time maintaining in the future rather than trying to lose weight I have already lost before. I hope as I encourage others, I will also be encouraged and motivated and excited.
Have you ever fallen off the THM bandwagon? Are you also looking for motivation. I would love to invite you to join me in my Facebook Accountability and challenge group. I will cheer you on and you can cheer me on!
Thanks for reading, I hope my story helps you get back on plan if you have veered off the path. <3
With joy ~ Tina